i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
