She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
