I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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