I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Betty ford says i'm here all night
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
