In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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