If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
