he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
