Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
