Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
