R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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