NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
