I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
