He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
