Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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