He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
