its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
