you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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