i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
