She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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