He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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