idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
