There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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