office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
