Sponge bath it is.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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