So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
