she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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