I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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