I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
