Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
