even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
