i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
