Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I lost the right to judge tonight
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
