Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
