guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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