so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
