I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
