I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
