How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
