You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
