So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
