he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
