The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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