I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
