i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
