I wannas sexs uuuuu
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
