we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize