My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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