Have you finally orgasmed yet?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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