I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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