I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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