Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
