is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
