yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
