chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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